On Permission.

While attending a psychedelic conference, my wonderful colleague Denise Rue introduced me to another colleague of hers, a psychotherapist. In introducing me, Denise shared how we originally met in a women-in-psychedelics circle and an overview of my microdosing community/educational platform. In response, the psychotherapist responded, coolly: “Who gave you permission to do this?”

Before I share my response - and as I step into my fourth decade of healing work - I’d like to share a big, honest, difficult truth that underpins & informs that response.

Over the last thirty years I’ve worked with tens of thousands of clients, and many thousands of them were abused - physically and sexually - as children. For the majority of survivors, this early violence, trauma and boundary transgression is the very root and original source of the pain, condition, symptoms and diagnosis they’re contending with here in the present day… the original harm that led them to seek support in their healing today.

And here’s the difficult truth: In the vast majority of cases, their abuser was - almost always - in a position of authority in their community. The smiling man on the city council. The head of the country club’s golf league. In military leadership. The coach of the youth basketball team. The deacon in the church. Head of the local rotary chapter. The pastor. The police captain. The spiritual leader. The local judge. The company president. The distinguished professor.

I’ve spent many thousands of hours listening to the stories of survivors, and can state plainly that the people who most often commit crimes against children - selfishly causing lifelong trauma and harm - are the very people “in charge” over the rest of us.

This is not an accident, nor is it a coincidence. In fact, they are linked.

Fast forward back to the the therapist’s question: “Who gave you permission to do this?”

After all that I have seen and witnessed - after all that I know in my bones, in my lived experience over many lifetimes, to be true - I will not ask permission to heal from the very same people in society who create the trauma. I will not ask permission to heal from a system of hierarchy that places a few men over others, one whose very structure indicates and perpetuates domination and control. I will not ask permission to heal from the same politicians raking in millions of dollars from the industries who profit from cycles of violence and trauma - the gun industry, the war machine industry, the pharmaceutical industry - with one arm while actively shielding pedophiles with the other.

The permission-based systems inherent in patriarchal authoritarianism only work as long as we choose to participate in them. Perpetrators cannot exist without victims, and their authority is only maintained as long as people choose to obey & follow. Each and every one of us possesses innate sovereign power, and every day we consciously choose where and to whom to give that power, attention & resources. The farther away we are from our own power, the more likely we are to give it away to someone else… often someone who didn’t earn it and doesn’t deserve it.

But if there’s no one to tell us what to do, how to be, or give us permission, won’t the world just run amok?? Who will establish ethics? Who gets to decide? Who holds us accountable and establishes standards?

And here - how we answer these questions - is where we diverge as Homo sapiens…

A human running on a program of fear consciousness will automatically want more control. More authority. More titles. More external approval. More gate-keeping. More contracts. More lawyers. More complexity and layers. More judgment. More restrictions and rules designed to keep their own emotional fragility, scarcity and insecurity at bay. An armored heart protecting a weak spine.

A human operating system sourced in love will automatically want more freedom. More empowerment of the other. More authentic soul-to-soul relationship. More generosity. More sharing. More learning. More experimentation & creativity. More simplicity and transparency. More openness. More tolerance and grace. More self-trust that’s reflected out as a trust of others and the world around us. A soft, gentle front leading a strong, resolute back.

As a species, we are diverging and evolving - real-time, as we speak. One human chooses to exist in a reality based in fear, a timeline shaped by control, and contrived, conditional permissions; the other will live in a reality sourced in love and shaped by freedom, innate, self-sourced power and individual choice.

So who gives me permission, holds me to standards, keeps me in integrity & accountable if there’s no one “in charge?”

Daily practices to maintain clear energy and an aligned, coherent heart. A personal, humble devotion to my work & path. My clients & community who place their trust in me. My colleagues & fellowship of guides around the world who inspire me to hold this work with the utmost respect, standards & pride. My lineage & ancestors that stretch back in time across millennia. And most importantly - my steadfast connection to source, trust in spirit, and my guide, who are always watching, witnessing and correcting me as necessary, every second of every day. I follow their lead, look for their approval, seek their blessing and permission, not because any of them hold positions of authority or demand it, but because they have truly earned the role and genuine power to offer it.

A new era of authentic, individual embodiment is dawning now, and it comes from within. There is no official title, no office, no pledge. No spiritual name, no special robe, no shiny trophy. No academic degree, no geographic location, no celebrity status, no shade of skin that confers anyone moral and ethical superiority or authority over another. Ethics lie inside the human heart and reveal themselves in our unseen actions - big and small - every single day. Trust is earned steadily, over time, by interactions and decisions big and small, every single day. The more we connect to ourselves, to the divine, to the everlasting nature of our souls - the more we are sourced by love - the more we are able to trust ourselves and freely give another the same opportunity to experience that for themselves.

The need for external permission dissolves as a stronger internal authority awakens and arrives — this is our evolutionary moment to seize, a time to release participation in old models of hierarchy and contrived authority, and begin to build, create & operate from a higher resonance of unity and love.