Seeing in Reflection
Years ago I dated a former chess champion. I used to love watching the way his exquisite, strategic mind worked - viewing every situation from different facets, unexpected directions and unique angles… all with the endgame in mind. He also - through no fault of his own - happened to be breathtakingly, drop-dead, lights-out handsome. We’d walk down the street and heads would automatically swivel: men would stop talking, women would stare, and he’d do his best to pretend to be oblivious to all the energy being directed at him.
On one of those occasions, we were being led through an overflowing restaurant to our destination, the farthest-most table in the place. As usual, people stopped mid-bite, turned in their seats, and by the time we reached our table the entire room was watching. The host graciously pulled out the chair that faced out over the room and offered it to me; I remember smiling and demurring and thinking to myself, “No, no… I believe everyone here would prefer my date in this seat” while sliding in reluctantly.
As soon as the host left my partner - reading my mind and before I could speak - said: “You stay right there. Looking at you is the best reflection of me I can offer everyone.”
While this was such a simple statement - so sweet and self-effacing in the moment - his words stayed with me for a long while after that night. Decades, in fact. “Looking at you is the best reflection of me I can offer.”
Recently I was speaking with a wonderfully dedicated client and he was updating me on his microdosing practice & progress - he shared with me how much his wife enjoyed their recent vacation since he was so relaxed and able to have fun for a change now that his anxiety is lower. He shared how the other night he was able to stay present and hold nonjudgemental, supportive space for his momentarily cranky and irritable daughter and ‘just listen.’ He shared how his longtime friends commented at dinner that this is the most at ease and happy he’s seemed in many years. He shared how a young person he mentors has been blossoming and stretching into her dreams with confidence, and totally lit up when sharing she was going after a new job opportunity.
And this is how we See Ourselves in Reflection, how we are gifted a true, clear measure and beautiful reflection of our own healing and growth in the Other. This is the masterful, wise and intelligent way mushrooms work with us, weaving into our relationships and allowing us to see our own strength & radiance reflected in the lives we touch, in the eyes and experience of the person sitting across from us at the table.
My client not only sees and feels different in his own body, mind and experience of life, he can also see it beautifully reflected in everyone around him. His wife’s happiness. His daughter’s trust and safety. His friends’ joyful laughter. His mentee’s self-confidence. As he nurtures, grows and radiates those qualities within himself, he holds everyone in his light as well.
“Rivers do not drink their own water, trees do not eat their own fruit. The sun does not shine on itself and flowers do not spread their fragrance for themselves. Living for others is a rule of nature. We are all born to help each other, no matter how difficult it is… Life is good when you are happy, but much better when others are happy because of you.” - Pope Francis (1936-2025)
What if the best reflection of ourselves lives outside of us?
What if looking at the lives we touch is the very best reflection of ourselves we can offer people?
What if earth medicine practice is allowing nature, spirit and the divine to work through us, to be in service to the world?
If life is chess, what if all the small moves we make each day culminate in a single legacy we leave behind, that lives on in all the others who continue to benefit?
What if looking at you is the best reflection of me I can offer the world?
It’s a beautiful thought.
